08.25.18: Simple Question. Complicated Answer.

Think about the first time you meet someone. Naturally, you seek commonalities so you resort to questions about where they live, about their job, and about their family. But sometimes seemingly simple questions can be the most difficult to answer. For loss parents, it’s the family-oriented ones that are complicated. How many times have you asked... Continue Reading →

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06.21.18: Thinking Beyond the Storm

Leaving a doctor’s appointment last week, I scurried to my car in flip flops and huddled under a light jacket in attempt to dodge the puddles and raindrops that were quickly forming. Just an hour prior it had only been drizzling, so I was not prepared for the sudden and unexpected downpour. Yet somehow I... Continue Reading →

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4.16.18: Surprise! It’s… grief?

Surprise! It’s… grief?! Wait... No… That’s not right... It’s a boy!! But why is grief popping in during our happy gender reveal? I wasn’t expecting a reveal within a reveal, but that’s exactly what happened. Let me start from the beginning…   I had no idea what to anticipate with our current pregnancy given that... Continue Reading →

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3.9.18: You Are What You Speak

You Are What You Speak: A Contemporary Take on Pregnancy & Infant Loss By Skyler Grubbs & Emily Plahanski As part of our healing, the best way we know how to honor our babies is by sharing. That’s why it’s so important for us to keep sharing our views through our newly altered lenses as... Continue Reading →

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11.29.17: Thankful

This was our first major holiday without our son and dare I say we enjoyed it? How? Before I get to that, you have to know what the week before was like to have a full appreciation of the outcome. Eight days prior to Thanksgiving, I assured my counselor I would not need a session... Continue Reading →

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11.8.17: Triggers

I preface this entire post with this: I am not formally credentialed to be advising anyone through grief. Having only lost a few significant people in my life, death and grief are actually unnatural topics for me. With that said, I've been wanting to write about emotional triggers and offer informal advice for anyone who,... Continue Reading →

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10.14.17: Jacob’s Story

Written by Rachel, proud parent of Jacob Hanging inside my bedroom closet next to my dresses, blazers and blouses, you will find one of my greatest treasures, a tiny baby tee shirt.  It is pure white with baby blue trim around the collar.  In the center there are two blue stars and the words, “Mommy’s Little Star”.... Continue Reading →

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9.28.17: How to Relate

I’m sure you’re wondering "What's up with the super depressing pic?". For starters, it resonated with me. But more importantly it's relatable. Most of you have felt just.like.this. Why might that matter? Read on...  I wrote this post after a recent meltdown, which went something like this: Me, sobbing in Everett’s nursery. Missing him. Angry that... Continue Reading →

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9.11.17: Grandparents Grieve Too

Our parents were thrilled they day we shared news of our pregnancy! After all, each of our five siblings had established families of their own. Furthermore, we had been married more than four years and were taking our sweet time to finish school, settle into a home and establish careers. And while we were comfortable... Continue Reading →

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8.15.17: A Letter to Liv

Written by Emily & Tyler Plahanski, proud parents of Olivia Margaret On June 6th, 2017 after 30 hours of induced labor, my husband Tyler and I gave birth to our beautiful baby girl, Olivia Margaret, stillborn, at 30 weeks. Our story is likely not much different than yours as it relates to the feeling of loss, hopelessness, guilt... Continue Reading →

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8.1.17: A Tough Pill to Swallow

As I gazed down at my new morning cocktail of prenatals and preventative meds I thought grimly, “This sucks.” Since Everett passed away, we’ve gone through extensive testing and appointments in anticipation of trying for Baby #2 someday. As a result of this process it has come to light that I have something in my... Continue Reading →

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7.15.17: Vivienne’s Story

Written by Joanna & Bill, proud parents of Vivienne Renee “This is the happiest story in the world with the saddest ending,” writes Elizabeth McCracken in her powerful memoir. That book is currently at the top of a pile of many other sad and depressing (but inspiring) books of pregnancy and infant loss that now... Continue Reading →

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6:30.17: A New “Me”

A former colleague of mine used to come in all bright-eyed with ideas and solutions she had thought of while getting ready for work that morning. Our team called these “shower moments”. Today I had a shower moment and felt compelled to share... This picture was taken on my 30th birthday and it depicts exactly... Continue Reading →

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6.15.17: Sharing

Today marks six months after our son, Everett, passed away. To even type those words and to accept their truth can be a challenge. And being inducted into this population impacted by infant loss was heart wrenching. However, from this loss has come an insane amount of good. Perhaps the most significant has been the... Continue Reading →

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